April 10, 2025 — In a stunning twist that absolutely no one saw coming except anyone paying attention since 2017, former Sex Pistols frontman and punk icon-turned-professional curmudgeon Johnny Rotten releases the leading single "God, I Miss The Queen", from his upcoming album "Quit yer bloody moaning".
⁹Rotten, whose real name is John Lydon revealed the news during an appearance on a talk show Wednesday to promote "traditional punk values".
"Back Alley abortions, mandatory daily flag allegiance recitals, and multi-year gulag labor for anyone questioning governmemt sanctioned genocide. These are the values we were trying to promote on The Sex Pistols' first...and um.. only.. album" expressed Lydon. "I wish Thatcher were still around to bomb the homes of anyone who disagreed with these common-sense ideas".
He went on to criticize the younger generation for not understanding the true meaning of rebellion. “Back in my day, we stuck it to the man. But now men are women and women belong in the kitchen therefore men belong in the kitchen and...dammit I'm hungry.. . WHERE AM I? NORA? WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?"
When asked if he was aware that anarchy traditionally opposes monarchs and authoritarian figures, Rotten REPORTEDLY smashed a bottle of Kettle One against a urinal, shrugged and muttered something about how marijuana caused more deaths than alcohol and how Oceana has always been at war with Eurasia".
